The Chaco Times: Crazy Cousins

Quotes from Austin and Olivia

Aunt Rachel was making balloon animals and asked Austin what animal he'd like. His answer: "A mongoose."

Rachel: "How about an easier animal."

Austin: "Okay, how about a gazelle?"

Olivia asked me if she could comb my hair during a movie. I said yes, thinking she was so adorable. She then asked, "So, do you want your hair in a ponytail, a bun, or a hot-dog?" (June 2011)

Olivia: "Dad watch this"

She then pushes a button on her alarm clock so that an automated voice says the time.

Olivia: "I think there's a person in my alarm clock because it can make that voice." (May 2011)

Anytime mommy watches a PBS interview or someone is cooking, Olivia always says "Mom, is that person talking to us?"

Austin had to eat one slice of yellow pepper: “This is paper, soap, dirt, mud, 100 jars of baking soda, and grass, and toilet paper. Yuck.” (May 2011)

Sometimes the family likes to hide when a parent gets home and that parent gets to come find everyone. When I (Allie) got home from a meeting apparently everyone was hiding but I was unaware.

Nathan (shouting from the top of stairs): "Why didn't you come find us?"

Allie: "Oops sorry, I'm coming right now."

Nathan: "It's too late. Everyone already got hurt and is crying."

For some reason Nathan's comment continues to crack me up because of how quickly happy situations involving small children can deteriorate.

(May 2011)

Olivia: "I want to baby sit myself."

Austin: "You're not old enough to babysit yourself. You have to be 90."

(March 2011)

Olivia's Preschool teacher: "What is your favorite color?"

Olivia: "Blue and Green. . . but my mommy wants me to like pink."

(March 2011)

Austin and Olivia were "driving away" on their feet-propelled cars down in the basement while pretending they were married.

Mommy: "Where are you guys going?"

Olivia: "To Costco."

Austin: "I don't know, I'm just following my wife."

Olivia during church: "Mom, close your eyes and think about Jesus."

Feb 2011

Austin: "I'm getting astracted"

Mommy: "You mean distracted."

Austin: "Yea, I'm getting side-trapped" (meaning side-tracked).

Austin and Olivia are eating cookies that they helped make.

Austin: "My tummy says, 'Stop, don't eat these.' But my tongue says, 'Yummy, eat these.'"

Mommy: "Does your tummy hurt or do you just know cookies aren't healthy?"

Austin: "I just know they aren't healthy. . . My tongue is winning."

1-10-11

Austin is learning how to pray and get answers. Nathan had been looking for his glasses all week long and everyday would ask if we had seen them. Finally Austin said, "Dad let's pray about it." Austin said a pray and immediately afterwards said, "Let's check by your nightstand." He then walked straight to the nightstand and found them wedged in-between the bed and the nightstand. Dec 2010

After turning off a movie in the car, Liv responded rudely. Mommy told Liv that because she was rude, she lost the privilege of watching movies the next day. Liv looked mommy in the eye and said, "oh darn it." She then said "heck" for good measure. Mom's eyes got big so Liv tried again, dropping all the bad words she new, "Hecky, darn, heck." Dec 2010

Austin put a penny in his mouth, so Nathan took it away. Austin then cried to have it back and when Nathan said no Austin said, "But I was saving that penny for college. Don't you want me to go to college?" Nathan still said no. Austin then cried "Now I will never be able to go to college." Nathan still said no. Austin: "Now I won't be able to go to BYU like you did Daddy. If you don't give me that penny back I will never be able to go to BYU!" Dec 2010

Olivia has been observing her mother avoid dairy because of Pierce's food intolerances. The other day when mommy was scooping up vegetables for Liv, she said, "I can't eat those because I am nursing my babies."

Nov 2010

Olivia: "I'm a mommy, I have big boobies."

(Sep 2010)

Daddy: "Olivia, come here."

Olivia: "I can't Daddy, I'm checking my e-mails."

(Sep 2010)

Mommy is singing in the car and Olivia is playing with her toy phone. . .

Olivia: "Sh Mommy, I can't hear Maren when you sing."

(Sep 2010)

Austin: "Is Pierce still in your tummy?"

Mommy: "No. He's down stairs."

Austin: "Well, it looks like it. Your stomach is poking out a little." Austin then tries to stick his stomach out. "Does it look like I'm pregnant."

Mommy: "No Austin. Your six-pack does not look pregnant."

(Aug 19th, 2010)

Mommy is reading Olivia a book on her bead before nap-time. Mommy is really tired.

Olivia: "I will read the book to you."

Mommy: "Okay" I hand her the book and close my eyes.

Olivia: "Mommy, open your eyes or I won't read this book!"

(August 20th, 2010)

Austin was jumping on the couch and playing with the cushions. He managed to get himself stuck upside-down, wedged in-between the back of the couch and a cushion. I asked, "Austin would you like a banana?" He replied, "yes mother, as soon as I get myself out of this situation."

July 2010

Livi and Austin were eating lunch and I added a few carrots to each of their plates. "No thank you, I don't want any carrots" says Austin. "Okay, I'd still like you to eat one" I inform him. I then hear the following from Austin:

"Livi let's play a game. Let's see who can hit the table the fastest like this. Very good. Now let's race. Oh! You won! That's great Olivia. You just won all my carrots. Here you go."

July 2010

Olivia

Mommy's trying to get Olivia to eat a delicious spinach and cheese pasta dish.

Mommy: "Mmm, this is so yummy to my tummy."

Liv: "This is so yummy to my tummy." She then takes a bite, grimaces and spits the food out.

Liv: "This is yucky to my bones."

June 2010

Austin: Asks mommy some random question to which she wans't paying enough attention to even remember and record the conversation precisely.

Mommy: "Mmm Hummm."

Austin: "Why'd you say 'Mmm Humm,' were you communicating through your nose?" (4-9-10)

Austin: "I'm never going to work when I grow up."

Mommy: "That's fine, you don't have to work. But, you'll never be able to buy anything."

Austin: "What if I just get married and my wife works."

Mommy (after laughing): "Well I doubt you'd be able to get married if you didn't want to work. Most women like hard working guys."

Austin: "What about Stephanie and Ryan? She works but he just goes to school." (Friends in our ward--she works two jobs while he is in law school). (4-9-10)

Mommy: "Austin, where's your juice?"

Austin: "I don't know where I put it."

Daddy: "People with really smart brains like you can remember where they put things if they try."

Austin: "Well, once I watched too much TV so my brain is working kind of slowly." (Jan 28th, 2010)

Mommy caught a "fantastic" bug that was going around the ward and got sick Tuesday night. She threw up again on Wednesday morning in front of Austin in the kid's toilet.

Austin: "Is that poop spit?"

Mommy: "No I'm throwing up."

Austin: "Did you throw up in your bed?"

Mommy: "No"

Austin: "Why didn't you just throw up in your bed like Olivia does?" (Jan 27th, 2010)

Part two of this unfortunate story is that along with the throwing up, came some pretty stinky gas (sorry it's gross but it couldn't be helped). So I was pouring the children cereal and milk while Austin was running circles around the kitchen passing right behind me. . .

Austin: "Mother, when I pass you it's really stinky."

Austin: "Mommy, I don't like to do what I don't like to do!" (Dec 09)

Austin has new lyrics to the Feliz Navidad song: “Feliz naughty dog, feliz naughty dog.”

11-28-09

Austin: “Mommy, I hid the gum right there because I thought you’d be mad.”

Mommy: “You don’t hide things from your mommy. If you feel like you need to hide something, it’s probably not good to do.”

Austin: “Yea but, if I do something and I know it will make you mad, I’ll have to hide it.”

11-09

Austin: “Mom, can I have a medium Spiderman cake for my birthday? And only I eat it?”

Mommy: “Well, does that mean that you don’t want to have any friends come over?”

Austin: “Yes, because sometimes my friends do things that drive me nuts and I don’t know what to do about it.”

10-09

As Nathan was about to feed Liv a piece of meat that was mostly fat, Austin yelled out, "No! She'll get all mushy!"

10-8-09

Austin had cowboy day at his preschool. Later Mommy and Austin talked about how cowboys ride horses. A few days later Austin was lying in his bed to go down for the night and asked Nathan the following question: "So Daddy, do horse-boys ride cows?"

9-29-09

The following conversation takes place in a public bathroom stall.

Austin: "Mommy, are you done yet."

Mommy: "No"

Austin: "Are you done yet?"

Mommy: "No Austin."

Austin: "Are you done yet?"

Mommy: "No Austin don't keep asking me, I"ll tell you when I'm done."

--Somebody laughs from next stall over--

Austin: "Are you done yet?"

Mommy: "Yes"

Austin: "Why did you pee all over yourself?"

Mommy: "I didn't"

Austin: "Yes you did. Why'd you pee all over yourself?"

(Sep-09)

Austin: "Daddy, I want some gum."

Daddy: "What do you say?"

Austin: "Hey Mommy, can Daddy get me some gum?"

8-7-09

Austin (one hour past bedtime): "Daddy I’m hungry"

Daddy: "Okay, drink some water and your tummy will feel full"

Austin: "Even after I have water I’ll still be hungry"

Daddy: "Okay, you can have one little snack and then go to bed"

Austin: "But I’ll still be hungry after I have one little snack"

Daddy: "Are you just trying to get out of having to go to bed?"

Austin: "Yes"

8-7-09

Mommy: "What was that noise?"

Tiger: "This straw."

Mommy: "Oh, I thought it was Chaco."

Tiger: "No, he went upstairs. He's upstairs because I was chasing him so much. I was chasing him and jumping on him and trying to eat him. I was doing everything to him so he went upstairs."

Tiger: "Mommy, I want to eat something that's good for my bones. May I have some fish?"

Mommy: "Yes, but drink your milk--that's good for your bones."

Tiger: "How is it good for your bones? Does them go in and push on your bones?" (4-9-09)

Mommy got Tiger a drink and his reply was,

"Thanks wife."

Mommy: "I'm not your wife, I'm your Mommy."

Tiger: "But you are a wife too." (Feb 2009)

After hitting Mommy in the face:

Mommy: "Ouch Tiger, you need to be gentle."

Tiger: "It's okay, it was an accident. Look Mommy, sometimes accidents just happen and it's all right."

Tiger: "Mommy, may I have two snacks? I need two snacks in my backpack because I'm going hiking down by the creek." (Feb 2009)

Tiger: "Why did you take that toothpaste away?"

Mommy: "Because last time you played with your toothpaste you ate all of it."

Tiger: "No Mommy, I just ate a little bit of it." (Feb 2009)

Tiger: "Mommy, you let me nurse at our old house."

Mommy: "That's right, I did."

Tiger: "That was so nice of you Mommy! Thanks for sharing your boobie milk with me." (November 2009)

Mommy: "Austin are you still eating or are you making a mess now?"

Austin: "I'm not making a mess at this point." (November 2009)

Tiger: "Mommy will you sing Mary had a little lamb?"

Mommy: Sings complete song three to four times

Tiger: "Can I watch that movie?"

Mommy: "I'm sorry Austin, we don't have that movie."

Tiger: "But I love Mary."

Mommy: "I love Mary too but we don't have that movie."

Tiger: "Mommy I want to get married right now."

Mommy: "What it getting married?"

Tiger: "It's when Marry comes over and she brings all her lambs and shares them with me."

Mommy: "Where do you get married?"

Tiger: "In the temple and Jesus brings his lambs too."

Mommy: "Actually when you get married it means you get a wife. Mommy and Daddy are married he's the husband and I'm the wife. Grandma and Grandpa are also married."

Tiger: "I want to marry Daddy. I want to marry Daddy, Mommy."

Mommy: "Well honey, boys marry girls and girls marry boys. Is there a girl you want to marry?"

Tiger: "I want to marry my babysitter."

9-22-08

Daddy: “Tiger, you need to say sorry.”

Austin: “Just put me in time out.”

Mommy: “I need to change your diaper.”

Austin: “No you don’t.”

Mommy: “It’s a poopy diaper, I already checked.”

Austin: “Poo poo is just a type of mud. I like mud. I can dig it with my shovel.”

Mommy (laughing histarically): “Poopoo is just a type of mud!?”

Austin: “Yes, poopoo is just a type of mud mommy.”

Austin: “Mommy, may I watch more TV?”

Mommy: “No you may not. You’ve already watched enough.”

Austin: calmly walks over and puts his hand on the remote, “Mommy, I can watch TV or cry.”

Mommy: “Tiger it’s time to go.”

Austin: “Okay, I’ll go start the car for you.”

Mommy: “What? And how are you going to do that?”

Austin: “Um, with my really strong fingers.”

-------- older quotes --------------

Austin handing me a tie, “I need to put this on and go to work. Daddy help sick people feel better.”

“Oyaya is hungry mommy, you need to feed her breakfast with your boobies.”

“I’m naked boy!”

After telling Austin that I ran into a door and got a bruise on my face, “That’s crazy! Ha ha ha . . . Oh my goomes, that’s adorable.”

Allison, “Do we throw our green beans on the floor and make a mess? Noooo we don’t want to make a mess.” Austin, “That’s right mommy, we don’t make a mess, good job.”

Mommy put on a blue and white striped shirt (it was cute I might add) “Is that you jammys?” Mommy, “No, it’s my shirt.” Austin, “Is that your Zebra shirt?” (9-8-08)

“That’s right daddy, good job.”

Dad asked, “were you good for mommy today Austin?” He replies, “yes, I didn’t hit her.”

Austin, “Chaco’s a bad wolf.” Mommy, “Is he the big bad wolf?” Austin, “No, he’s the little bad wolf.” (9-11-08)

“I want to hit girls” Mommy “You want to hit girls?!” Austin, “I want to hit little girls” (9-11-08) *I assure you no harm was done to Olivia in the making of this quote*

Mommy “owe, Austin please don’t hit me with your hammer.” Austin, “I want to hit you with my hammer nicely.” (9-11-08)

Mommy, “Austin my tummy tells me I’m hungry, are you hungry?” Austin, “No I’m not hungry, my tummy tells me feed me ice-cream.”

Austin: May I watch TV while I eat breakfast?

Mommy: No, today is Sunday. It is the Sabbath. Can you say Sabbath?

Austin: No

Mommy: Okay well, today is a day to think about Heavenly Father and Jesus. Can you see a picture of Jesus?

Austin: Yes, (pointing to picture of Savior with sheep) Him got lambs.

Mommy: Yes, there are sheep in that picture.

Austin: Yes, Mary gots lambs too. Can I watch Mary on TV? (9-14-08)

Austin: I know how to nurse Olivia

Mommy: Really? How do you do that?

Austin: I don’t know. My boobies not got milk. My milk just disappeared. My milk disappeared into a cup. And I drank it.(9-22-08)

“Olivia, don’t cry, Jesus wants you to be happy.” (9-24-08)

Mommy: We’re going to bring this food to Daddy.

Austin: Yea, are the sick people better?

Mommy: No, that’s why daddy has to stay at the hospital tonight.

Austin: Oh really, are we bringing the sick people cornbread?

Mommy: No, were bringing daddy the cornbread

--drive to hospital, eat, etc.---

Austin (desperately trying to get out into the halls) yells: I want to see the sick people.

--driving home—

Austin: Is daddy helping the sick people feel better? Is he helping little sick boys?

Mommy: yes

Austin: Oh, I help big guys feel better. I know how to make sick people feel better.

Mommy: Oh really, how do you do that?

Austin: I just give them more Tylenol. We got some more at home. (9-27-08)

Austin hit mommy in the eye with a big cardboard tube.

Mommy: Oh no Austin, you hit me in the eye. We don’t throw things at people’s faces. I have to take that away now. That’s a big no no.

Austin: No that’s a little no no.

Mommy: “I’m so happy to be your mommy”

Austin: “I’m so happy Daddy is my daddy.” (10-3-08)

Daddy: “Austin by putting the keys in your mouth you broke the rules and now I have to take them.”

Austin: “I so sorry I broke the rules Daddy. I will help you put them back together.”

Daddy: “Okay, to put them back together you have to do what I say.”

Austin: “No. You use glue.” (10-11-08)

“Mommy, I like your coat, you look like a tomato.” (10-27-08)

-Nathan encouraging Austin to obey by counting to three: "one, one, one, one, one, two, two, two, two, two. . ."

The Chaco Times

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Crazy Cousins

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